The [Lack of] Punctuation says it all...

It's been a while my little darlings, post-Rhinoplasty, I've just begun logging back into the world of online dating... and it's good to be back. ;-)
A few prospects in the mix, and an upcoming date, however, this e-mail from 'Fahed' delights me on a whole different level. For Pure comedic value:

"sounds awesome
really love your desire lets know each other more if you wish to
i am so bored here actually living alone that is why i am on m____ dot com
want to organize more my lovely short life will be happy if someone loves me so much
and i do more than that which is intangible u can even imagine how soft and smooth my love is
if sounds cool let me know will be here answering u 0754XXXXXXX
oh sorry one more thing i aint bitch or whore if you guess so dont reply me please
i put the number bcos of best never stays longer so why not catch up soon
bye honey"

Don't be mistaken, he "...ain't bitch or whore if you guess"...
With a message this enjoyable, it only makes sense to check out the goods:

5'6 (oompla loompa), asian, hairy, scary.
Apparently Fahed speaks English...
The photos= Gold.

Photo 1- pouty face angled right with v-neck tee-shirt hanging far too low and showing off a cringe-worthy display of chest hair.

Photo 2- pouty face lying on bed with white, wire-rimmed, ladies, sunglasses Victoria Beckham would have worn back when she had a 'singing' career.

Photo 3- camera has replaced a perky-penis and looks upwards towards pouty face with aforementioned Beckham-bargain-bin shades, aforementioned v-neck 'shirt' which, upon closer inspection looks as though it is worn everyday, without washing, ironing or general socially acceptable human hygiene standards. Did I forget to mention the fluorescent-orange bandana tied ninja-style around his forehead?... To complement the shades, of course.

Photo 4- pouty face angled right with a new hideous excuse of a frothy chest-hair v-neck button up tee-shirt. however this shirt looks as though it has been laundered so many times that the material is so dangerously thin you really should avert eyes or hit Next button without delay! (this wafer-thin fabric throws me back to the days of flatshare with an eccentric Turkish gay 'Ratlu' who insisted on wearing said fabric in the form of tiny pyjama shorts with an equally worn elastic band- just think of the frightening possibilities. or better yet, Don't.)

Photo 5- pouty face looking at camera, same wafer-fabric, but add a long sparkly black 'i-got-this-at-Oxfam-and-think-it-looks-trendy-but-actually-never-was-and-never-will-be' necklace.

--now that you have an idea of what we're dealing with here, have a read of his write-up:

"what to say ........ easy going bit sporty always trying to be smiley . at the moment i am working also looking for a woman who will love me so much and make me laugh .gentle , friendly ,jolly ,always good suggestions for me being polite being creative and same for you too that all about who i am . im 25 looking for someone who loves my age and need my age . make sure believing is reliefing each other
dont be shy to know me more just email me as quick waiting for beloved one
thx"

seriously... believe it and it may 'relief' you...